One of the things that continues to fascinate me is our ability to laugh and find humor even in the darkest times. For a lot of people, this is a go-to coping skill. As I have said many times in sessions, there are plenty of things in life to be sad about. But sometimes, truly awful things can happen to us that seem anything but humorous. But by finding a way to laugh, we are taking back control of our life.
Using humor or laughing has been shown to positively affect the human body increased pain tolerance and decreased stress). But using humor as a coping skill also positively impacts our mental health. As humans, we will find what we are looking for. By choosing to laugh, we are choosing to look for silver linings. In contrast, humans are wired to be attracted to negativity. Using humor as a healthy coping skill will help you stay mentally healthy on your journey.
Some may disagree, but I feel we can choose to laugh. We choose to see ourselves as victims of these events or survivors. By laughing, we choose to be survivors.
How To Cope With Humor and Laughing Affect the Body?
Have you found that laughing makes you feel better? Why is that? There have been all kinds of studies that have found laughter has a measurable effect on the body.
Just laughing causes physical changes in your body. Although more research is always being done, some of the physiological changes they have found so far are chemical changes that reduce stress and may even increase pain tolerance. There are a lot of studies that found impacts, but it can get convoluted so I figured I’d spare you the headache…
The specifics aren’t exactly important, but know that there have been numerous studies that have found and measured many different ways the body responds and changes during and after laughter.
Think about that for a second. There are all kinds of benefits to be gained from something that is free and has no side effects. That’s pretty cool. I don’t know about you, but if I was told I could have these benefits by just laughing, I would be all over it.
With all that being said, laughter does so much more than just impact the body physically. There are plenty of benefits that we still need to discuss.
Why Humor Helps As a Coping Mechanism?
Physical changes aren’t the only benefits that laughter has. There are also mental benefits of humor.
As we go through life, sometimes we can find ourselves always looking at the negatives, searching for the darkness in everyday life.
I have come to believe that we are very good at finding what we are looking for. If you are searching for the worst in others or the negatives of things that are happening, you will find plenty of reasons why life sucks and isn’t fair.
However, if you are looking for the silver linings in life or that one little thing that could bring us joy, you will also find it. If you find yourself getting annoyed by this idea, don’t worry! You are not alone. When I talk about this stuff with clients, I usually get looked at like I have five heads or that I have insulted them. Positive humor is a powerful thing.
I have even been accused of “blowing rainbows” … I still don’t know what that one means! Regardless, this stuff is hard or frustrating because it is probably completely different than how you have been living your life. We usually have these types of reactions to things that are outside our norm.
When we laugh or use healthy humor, we are CHOOSING to laugh. Sometimes choosing to laugh can be the most empowering choice you can make for yourself. I have worked with all kinds of people who have found the strength to choose to laugh.
When Is Humor Unhealthy?
Unhealthy humor can be thought of as the opposite of healthy humor. Two of the major things that will let you know if the humor being used as a coping skill is unhealthy is if it includes putting down yourself or others and you find yourself avoiding that original thing that was distressful. Other common versions of unhealthy humor is when it shows as cynical humor or dark humor.
Humor becomes an unhealthy coping skill when we do not acknowledge the gross feelings that come with that initial distressful “thing”. When humor consistently leads to avoidance or self-deprecation, we may want to consider making some changes.
At first, this humor may feel like it is being compassionate to yourself. Heck, it may even feel good. But we are creatures of habit. Because it may feel good to completely avoid those gross feelings, you may have found yourself repeatedly avoiding them.
All those gross feelings must be released somewhere. If it isn’t that moment, it’ll be later at the table with your family or at work. When I work with clients, I like to talk about my beach ball metaphor. The idea is when we avoid things or push them down, they will eventually come out somewhere. Some people may be good at keeping those things pushed down, but they may find that it’s a fulltime job, and they won’t have time for anything else.
Avoidance and self-deprecation are not very useful for recovery. They are almost the opposite of what we are trying to achieve.
Humor As A Healthy Vs Unhealthy Coping Skill?
Like I have said, using humor to cope with stress is a coping mechanism. Depending on how we use humor, it can be a healthy coping skill or an unhealthy one.
Based on my experiences, I have found that two major factors separate the use of humor as either a healthy or unhealthy coping skill. Those are the level of compassion in the humor and whether we return to that original thing that was bothering us.
If we never end up addressing that original thing, we are avoiding it, and that isn’t healthy! Unfortunately, this can be hard to spot in ourselves. But I bet you can name a few people in your life that do this all the time.
What exactly do I mean by the “level of compassion” in humor? Well, think about your favorite jokes. Are they mean? Pointed at someone? Do they come from a place of caring/lightheartedness? Or are you aiming to upset the other person? Are you poking fun at yourself? Or are you putting yourself down with self-deprecating humor? These are all different ways that humor could or could not be compassionate.
I hope this is enough to get you thinking about the differences between using humor as a healthy and unhealthy coping skill. If you want to learn more about this topic and how you can change the type of humor you use, check out my article. I think you are going to find it helpful.
Final Thoughts
Humor is such an important part of our lives. Even more important is the choice to use it. Laughing has all kinds of positive benefits for your physical and mental health. The best part is it’s free and doesn’t have any side effects!
Be sure to use humor as a healthy coping skill. Too much of anything is a bad thing.
Humor is such an important part of my life and my work with clients. I hope this article helped you look at your world from a different perspective. When we look at our worlds from different perspectives, we gain new insight.
Until next time,
