Trauma work is some of the most challenging work to be done. It is something I do not take lightly. That being said, when things are hard, they are also incredibly rewarding. But when should you start on that work?
The signs that show it is a good time to work on your trauma could be when the event’s memories keep bubbling up and affecting your life. It may not be the right time for you to start trauma work if the event(s) just recently happened, or if you feel you do not have any healthy coping skills in place yet. If you are not ready for trauma work, it is still worth starting therapy. Your therapist can help you reach the point of feeling ready to start that impactful work.
This article is not for the person who is struggling with a recent trauma. It is for the reader who has experienced trauma in the past, but maybe never had therapy to work through it. Many people have experienced “big T” or “little t” trauma at some point in their lives.
Later in the article, we will get into how and when to start working on them. But first, we will begin by understanding what the two types of trauma are.
What Is “Big T” Trauma?
Big T trauma means you had an event in your life where you felt your(or someone else’s life) was in imminent danger. Examples of big T traumas are physical or sexual assaults or abuse, a house fire, Domestic Violence, emotional abuse/neglect, or being deployed overseas. If you have survived a big T trauma, you probably know it.
These experiences can have a profound effect on our brains and bodies. If one does not seek help after a big T trauma, there is a strong possibility that they will develop some type of trauma or anxiety disorder.
We are often aware of how our bodies are physically effected during these big T traumas, but we forget about the invisible impacts that last long after.
Things could potentially feel fine at first. You may even go back to your day to day life. But if this big T trauma is not processed with a professional, there is a high likelihood that one may develop posttraumatic stress disorder.
This is by no means a guarantee, though. There are plenty of people out there that have survived profound trauma and continue to be the incredible people they were before that event. But for those that need a little extra support, seeking professional help is a great place to start.
What Is “Little t” Trauma?
Many know what big T trauma is, but what about little t trauma? Little t traumas are often forgotten because they do not leave as significant of a physical impact. But enough little t traumas can absolutely outweigh a big T trauma.
Examples of little t trauma are failing a class, experiencing constant racist microaggressions, getting into a minor accident, and failing to achieve a goal you set for yourself.
As you may have guessed, experiencing one little t trauma once does not leave you super likely to develop an anxiety diagnosis or other disorders. But as you experience more and more of these, and you don’t have as many supports in place, they get more challenging to cope with on your own. This is how these little t traumas can lead to a similar trauma response to someone who experiences one big T trauma.
The Role Of Avoidance In Trauma
Avoidance tends to be the most common way people try to cope with and get through their traumatic experiences. Unfortunately, it has been shown that those who avoid have a statistically higher chance of developing Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.
This avoidance can look different for everyone. Some common examples are the use of substances to avoid the uncomfortable feelings, the stuffing of emotions, or the covering up of these emotions with anger and rage. Substance abuse is a common way for people to attempt to numb these feelings.
At first, avoidance can feel like the best way to deal with this hard stuff. As shown by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, avoidance will actually cause those emotions to get worse. If you want to learn more about this, take a look at this article I have written.
A Few Resources To Start You On Your Journey
If you are interested in learning more about the effects of trauma, there are all kinds of great resources. I would suggest you check out the original ACES study that really brought this stuff to the forefront of mental health.
There are all kinds of other resources out there to learn more as well. One excellent option is a book called The Body Remembers by Babette Rothschild. If you are in the right place to read it, this book does a great job of talking about how trauma affects our bodies and how it can manifest (how we can notice it).
What Are Common Reactions To Trauma?
The ACE Study found that trauma affects the body in all kinds of ways. Because there are so many ways those effects can manifest, they affect everyone differently.
If you have done the necessary work, you may not have any long-lasting effects from your traumatic event. But there are some signs to look for that can help you notice that it may be time to see a professional to do some of this trauma work.
The signs to look for are: always feeling on edge, unexplained irritability, feeling almost disconnected from your body, feeling like there is a projector playing of that event in your head, and you can’t look away from it, or even feeling like you are in a dream. All these things can feel really odd, but I want you to know they are all common ways our bodies handle the stresses of trauma.
I want you to know that if you are experiencing these things, you are not alone. Many people have survived these things, done the work, and are now continuing with their lives.
How To Start Trauma Work?
Now that we have taken the time to figure out what trauma is, and how it affects the body, how do people work? I would suggest starting by finding a mental health professional you trust.
The thing about trauma work is that it can feel really overwhelming. Because of this work’s sensitive nature, it is a good idea to only do it with a licensed mental health professional.
If you are already seeing a therapist, that’s awesome! You have already started to build that relationship. The thing about trauma work is that it’s up to you (as the client) to initiate it. It may also be a good idea to ask if they know of any group therapy sessions locally specifically for people like you working through trauma.
The only way trauma work can be successful is if you WANT to do it. So if you already have a professional you trust, let them know you want to start it. If you don’t already have a therapist, go ahead and start seeing somebody.
Don’t feel pressured to bring up trauma stuff in the beginning. It is more important that you get to know the new mental health professional. Because it’s this relationship that will help you get through those hard times.
In case you can’t tell, I believe that working with a mental health professional you trust (who is willing to do trauma work with you) is the best place to start working on or through some of those past traumas. Self-help books can be great for many things, but I wouldn’t suggest using self-help books to coach yourself through processing trauma. You wouldn’t do your own brain surgery, would you?
When Is It Appropriate To Start Trauma Work?
The short answer is that it is appropriate to do trauma work if you have someone you trust, and you have a bunch you tools that you can use to cope with some of the extreme emotions that may be released. The feelings that are associated with trauma work can often be pretty intense.
This is a big reason why I say it Is essential to do trauma work with a therapist you trust. As you build that relationship, you will have another person in your corner who will also help track if trauma work is appropriate for you.
Another thing to remember is that you can stop trauma work at any time. We have spent a lot of time packing/squishing those big T and little t traumas away in the depths of our brains. I will have another that goes more in-depth about what to expect when going into trauma work. But for now, know that trauma work can be like opening up boxes that you hid about in the attic a long time ago.
If you start trauma work and decide that it is too much for you right now, that is okay. You can always put those boxes back where they were and close that attic door again. You can still stop trauma work if it feels like it is too much. So don’t let that stop you from ever starting.
When Is It Not Appropriate?
If You Don’t Have Enough Coping Skills Yet
Like I have said, it is appropriate to start trauma work once you have a clinician you trust. But when is it not appropriate to start? First of all, this is going to be different for everyone. If you are even wondering about this, it is definitely worth talking with your therapist more about it.
For me, one of the most common reasons it may not be appropriate to start trauma work is if you don’t have the coping skills needed yet.
Coping skills can 100% be acquired; just because you may not have the needed coping skills today DOES NOT mean you won’t have them in a month. These skills are important because they are what you will use to help manage the uncomfortable emotions that can cope up.
If you were to come to me saying you wanted to work on trauma, but I didn’t feel you were ready, the very first thing we would do is take time to learn coping skills and practice using them. My guess is that this would hold true for most other therapists as well.
If You Have a Major Life Transition Happening
As I have also mentioned, this trauma work can be really involved. There can be a lot of intense emotions that come with it. Because of this, everything must be as consistent as possible for you while you are doing this intense work. Consistency will help you focus on your trauma work and be better able to cope with it.
So, if you are not at a point in your life where things are steady, trauma work may not be for you at this time. And again, that is okay. It is more important that you give yourself the best chance of positive results possible.
There are still other things you can do. If you don’t have a therapist yet, it is still worth it to find one. That way, once things calm down, you will begin that trauma work with someone you already have that trust with. There are still plenty of other ways to work on your mental health and get some type of benefit.
Final Thoughts
Starting trauma work takes a lot of energy and bravery. If you want to start that work, I want to make sure you are setting yourself up for success. With healthy coping skills in place and the feeling that you can use them, you may be ready to begin.
If you don’t have those coping skills in place, that is entirely okay! If you know your goal is to eventually work on some of the traumatic things you have experienced, starting with a therapist is a great idea.
Working with a therapist is a good thing to start because you will have a strong working relationship with them already in place by the time you are ready to start working through your trauma. If you know this is in your future, starting with a therapist is a great place. If you live in the state of Maine, we would love to join you on this new journey. And if you don’t, I hope this post helped you find some clarity if you are ready to start this work.
Until next time,
