Grief is something we all face at some point in life, but it can be hard to understand when you’re going through it. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a pet, or even a job, grief can bring up big feelings that may feel overwhelming. Many people feel confused, sad, or even angry when they’re grieving, and that’s completely normal.
Grief is our natural response to losing someone or something important to us. It’s not just about feeling sad; grief can affect our emotions, thoughts, and even our physical health. Understanding grief and the process of bereavement, which is how we cope with loss, helps us make sense of these feelings and begin to heal.
In this blog, we’ll explore what grief really is and how it shows up in our lives. My hope is that by understanding grief and bereavement a little better, you’ll feel more prepared to handle your own experience or to support someone you care about.
What is Grief?
Grief can feel like waves washing over us—sometimes gentle, allowing us to carry on with our day, and other times powerful, crashing over us with emotions that feel hard to control. Instead of trying to stop these waves, letting them wash over us can help us in working through grief. Grief can bring a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. It can also affect our bodies, taking a physical toll on your body—making you feel tired, changing your appetite, or making it hard to get enough sleep. Many people also find it difficult to think clearly or concentrate when they’re grieving.
Grief isn’t just about feelings; it also impacts our bodies and minds. You might feel like you have no energy or that your body is weighed down. Some people lose interest in eating, while others might overeat for comfort. It’s also common to feel confused or forgetful during this time, as your brain tries to come to terms with your loss. You might find it hard to focus on work, school, or even simple tasks at home, and these changes can sometimes make sorrow feel even more overwhelming.
Everyone experiences grief differently. There’s no one right way to feel or act when you’re grieving. Some people might want to be alone, while others need to be surrounded by friends and family. Grief can sometimes cause people to withdraw from their usual activities because they feel too overwhelmed to connect with others, and that’s completely normal. Understanding that grief is a natural response and personal to each person is an important part of navigating the healing process.
What is Bereavement?
Bereavement is the period of mourning we go through after the death of a loved one. While grief describes the feelings we experience, bereavement is the process of coping with those feelings and adjusting to life without the person who died. During bereavement, people often experience intense emotions, ranging from deep sadness to confusion or even anger. It’s completely normal to feel all of these things as you try to make sense of the loss.
Different cultures and religions may have specific ways of mourning and dealing with bereavement. Some people find comfort in ceremonies or rituals, while others turn to quiet reflection or support groups to help them cope. These traditions and practices provide support, helping people process their sorrow in a way that feels right for them. No matter what your background is, bereavement takes time and is a deeply personal experience that everyone moves through at their own pace.
Forms of Grief And Loss
Grief comes in many forms, and not everyone experiences it the same way. One type is anticipatory grief, which happens when we know a significant loss is coming. This is common when a loved one has a terminal illness. We begin to grieve before they pass, as we prepare emotionally for the loss. It can be difficult because we are already dealing with feelings of sadness, despair, and loss even though the person is still alive.
Another type is complicated grief, which lasts much longer than usual and makes it hard to function in daily life. People experiencing complicated grief may find themselves stuck in their sadness, unable to move forward or cope with their emotions. This type of grief can make it hard to go back to work, connect with loved ones, or enjoy things you used to love. In these cases, seeking professional support, like a grief counselor or therapist, can help.
Sometimes people experience disenfranchised grief, which happens when their loss isn’t widely recognized by society. This can occur when someone loses a pet, experiences a miscarriage, or ends a relationship. Because these types of losses aren’t always acknowledged, the grieving process can feel more isolating.
There is also collective grief, which happens when an entire community or society grieves together, like after a natural disaster or a global event. Collective grief can bring people together, helping them find support in shared sorrow.
Factors Influencing Grief
Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone and many personal and cultural factors can influence how a person grieves. A person’s cultural background or religious beliefs might shape the way they mourn, with different rituals or practices providing comfort. Age also plays a role—children, adults, and the elderly may all experience and express anguish and grieving differently. Some people are naturally more resilient and can process their grief more easily, while others may struggle more with the emotional weight of grieving the loss.
The nature of the loss is another key factor. A sudden, unexpected loss of someone can leave someone in shock and disbelief, making the grieving process more intense. On the other hand, if the loss was expected, like in the case of a long-term illness, people might have time to come to terms emotionally, which can soften the blow. The relationship with the deceased also matters; the closer or more complex the relationship, the more deeply someone might feel grief.
Previous experiences with loss and a person’s mental health can affect how they handle despair. Someone who has experienced multiple losses might find new distress triggers old feelings of sadness. Those with a history of anxiety or depression may find the grieving process more overwhelming. Lastly, having a support system is crucial in helping people cope with grief. Bereavement support from family, friends, or a community can offer comfort and understanding during such a difficult time.
Final Thoughts
Grief is a normal and natural response to losing someone or something important. It affects everyone differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Some people may move through their suffering quickly, while others may take longer to adjust. The important thing to remember is that everyone’s experience is unique, and it’s okay to feel whatever emotions come up.
Understanding grief and bereavement is the first step toward healing. If you’re finding it difficult to cope, remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s talking with loved ones, reading more about grief, or reaching out to a therapist, help is available. Taking the time to understand your grief can help you find a path forward, even when it feels hard to see the way.
Until next time,
