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What Are The Signs Of Low Self-Esteem?

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how we see and value ourselves. When we have low self-esteem, we often feel bad about who we are. It’s important to recognize the signs of low self-esteem so we can work on feeling better about ourselves.

Some signs include negative self-talk, where we constantly criticize ourselves, and lack of confidence, making us afraid to try new things. Other signs are difficulty accepting compliments, fear of failure, being overly critical of ourselves, and avoiding social situations. Recognizing these signs can help us understand what we need to work on.

By knowing the signs of low self-esteem, we can take steps to improve our self-worth. This might include practicing positive thinking, setting small goals, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist. Remember, everyone deserves to feel good about themselves, including you.

What is Low Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how much we like and value ourselves. It’s important because it influences our thoughts, feelings, and actions every day. When we have healthy self-esteem, we feel confident and capable.

Low self-esteem means we often feel not good enough or worthless. This can happen for many reasons. Sometimes, it starts in childhood if we are criticized a lot or don’t get enough support. Other times, societal pressures, like trying to look a certain way or fit in, can lower our self-esteem. Traumatic events, like bullying or abuse, can also cause low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can affect many parts of our lives. We might struggle in relationships, feel unhappy at work, or find it hard to grow and reach our goals. Recognizing and understanding low self-esteem is the first step to feeling better about ourselves.

What Are the Signs of Low Self-Esteem?

Recognizing the signs of low self-esteem can help you understand and address your feelings better. People with low self-esteem often face a range of challenges that affect their daily lives. Let’s explore some common signs.

signs of low self-esteem

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is the internal dialogue that is critical and self-defeating. This means constantly telling yourself things like, “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail.” These thoughts can reduce motivation and increase stress. Negative self-talk can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming and diminish your overall sense of well-being.

To combat negative self-talk, try using positive affirmations and changing your thought patterns to be more supportive and kind. This can involve catching negative thoughts as they occur and actively replacing them with more positive, affirming statements. Over time, this practice can help shift your mindset and improve your self-esteem.

Lack of Confidence

Low confidence can show up in many situations, like at work, in social settings, or when trying to reach personal goals. For example, you might avoid speaking up or trying new things because you fear failure. This lack of confidence can hold you back from growing both personally and professionally, as it prevents you from taking risks and seizing opportunities.

Building confidence involves setting small goals and practicing self-compassion. Start with achievable tasks that gradually build your confidence. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way. Developing a positive and supportive inner dialogue can also boost your confidence.

Difficulty Accepting Compliments

People with low self-esteem often struggle to accept praise. They might feel uncomfortable or unworthy when someone compliments them, responding with things like, “It was nothing” or “I could have done better.” This difficulty in accepting compliments reinforces a negative self-image and can make it harder to see your own worth.

Practicing accepting compliments graciously can help improve self-esteem. When someone praises you, try simply saying “thank you” and acknowledging the positive feedback. Over time, this can help you internalize the compliments and build a more positive self-view.

Fear of Failure

Fear of failure can stop you from making decisions and taking risks. You might avoid challenges because you’re afraid of not succeeding, which leads to missed opportunities. This fear often shows up as procrastination or giving up easily, which can prevent you from achieving your goals and realizing your potential.

To overcome this fear, try to see failure as a learning experience. Embrace mistakes as opportunities to grow and improve. Setting realistic goals and breaking them into smaller steps can also help manage the fear of failure, making it easier to take action and move forward.

Excessive Self-Criticism

Being overly critical of oneself means focusing on flaws and mistakes instead of strengths and achievements. You might think, “I’m terrible at this,” which can harm your mental health and self-worth. Excessive self-criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, making it difficult to feel good about yourself.

Reducing self-criticism involves practicing self-kindness and mindfulness. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer a friend. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, and remind yourself that nobody is perfect. Mindfulness practices can also help you become more aware of your self-critical thoughts and learn to let them go.

Social Withdrawal

People with low self-esteem often avoid social situations because they fear judgment and rejection. This leads to isolation and loneliness, as they miss out on the benefits of social interactions. Signs of social withdrawal include declining invitations, avoiding eye contact, and staying away from group activities.

Encouraging social engagement and building supportive relationships can help. Start by reaching out to trusted friends or family members and gradually expand your social circle. Participating in group activities or joining clubs that interest you can also provide opportunities to connect with others and improve your social confidence.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is setting unrealistically high standards and feeling stressed trying to meet them. This can cause anxiety, procrastination, and burnout, as the pressure to be perfect becomes overwhelming. Perfectionists often fear making mistakes, which can prevent them from taking action or trying new things.

Managing perfectionism involves setting realistic goals and embracing imperfections. Understand that it’s okay to make mistakes and that nobody is perfect. Focus on progress rather than perfection, and celebrate your achievements along the way. Practicing self-compassion can also help reduce the stress associated with perfectionism.

People-Pleasing Behaviors

People-pleasing means putting others’ needs above your own to gain approval. You might find it hard to say no and often overcommit, trying to make everyone happy. While it’s nice to be helpful, constantly prioritizing others over yourself can harm your self-esteem and personal boundaries.

Learning to assert your needs and set healthy boundaries is important. Practice saying no when you need to, and remember that it’s okay to take care of yourself first. Building self-respect and valuing your own needs can lead to healthier relationships and improved self-esteem.

Comparisons with Others

Constantly comparing yourself to others can make you feel inferior. Social media often makes this worse by showing only the best parts of others’ lives. Signs of unhealthy comparisons include feeling envy and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Reducing comparisons and focusing on your own growth can help. Practice gratitude and remind yourself of your own strengths and achievements. Set personal goals that reflect your values and aspirations, and celebrate your progress without comparing it to others.

Physical Manifestations

Low self-esteem can show up physically, like poor posture, neglecting self-care, or having nervous habits. These physical signs reflect inner feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. When you don’t feel good about yourself, it can affect how you carry yourself and take care of your body.

Improving self-care routines and body language can positively impact self-esteem. Pay attention to your posture, and try to stand and sit confidently. Develop a self-care routine that includes activities you enjoy and that make you feel good. Taking care of your physical appearance can also boost your overall sense of well-being.

Final Thoughts

Reflecting on your self-esteem is important. Take a moment to think about how you feel about yourself and if any of the signs of low self-esteem resonate with you. Remember, everyone has moments of doubt, but if you find these feelings overwhelming, it might be time to seek help. Improving self-esteem is a journey, and small steps like practicing positive self-talk, setting achievable goals, and surrounding yourself with supportive people can make a big difference.

You deserve to feel good about yourself. If you find it challenging to make progress on your own, consider talking to a therapist. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs. Whether through self-help resources, therapy, or building a supportive community, taking steps to improve your self-esteem can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Take the first step today towards a better you.

Until next time,

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Derek Guerrette, LCPC, NCC

Derek is the founder of New Perspectives Counseling Services. He is currently licensed in the state of Maine as an LCPC. He enjoys working with people who are working through things like trauma, anxiety, and depression. Derek values humor and authenticity in his therapeutic relationships with clients. He also believes that there are all kinds of things going on in our lives that affect us, but we can't exactly control.

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New Perspectives Counseling Services LLC is based out of the Bangor, Maine area. It's owner, Derek Guerrette, LCPC, NCC, is a licensed therapist in the state of Maine. We hope this website's content is helpful to you in some way. If you have any content suggestions or live in Maine and would like to start therapy, we would love to hear from you!

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The writer of this post is a licensed therapist. That being said, this website and all its content are not a substitute for therapy. They are better served as a tool to use along with therapy. If you are in a crisis, please call 911 or see these other resources for more appropriate immediate support.
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