Whenever I hear someone say, “That is easier said than done,” I make an effort to ask why they say that. As a therapist, I have started to notice some patterns when I hear this commonly spoken statement. Many don’t realize it may be getting in the way of their recovery.
By saying something is easier said than done, you are: keeping the problem at a macro level, minimizing your ability to cope, and giving yourself a built-in excuse. These things are not useful to us because they make the problem feel more overwhelming or too big. This makes it feel like whatever we do will not matter, and we let ourselves off the hook. In more ways than one, by saying this, people are undermining their own accountability.
Do you know someone who uses this statement? Do you say it? Either way, let’s look at some of the reasons why I challenge this statement, and why it may be standing between you and your goals.
You Are Keeping the Problem At the Macro Level
By allowing yourself to continue to say this, you maintain a zoomed-out (macro-level) view of the problem. A zoomed-out view or overview of the problem can be helpful when trying to identify it. Usually, when people find themselves uttering these words, they have already placed something they want to work on, and it is time to begin working to change.
I don’t know about you, but I have learned that I have a hard time initiating things if I keep that zoomed-out view of things. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming with all of these different things on my mind. Almost Insurmountable. I know I am not alone in thinking that.
So why keep it at the macro level by saying, “Well, that is easier said than done!”? Let’s break this issue down into more manageable, actionable steps. Despite how you may feel when that overwhelming wave of anxiety comes over you, there is always something you can do to better your situation.
Let’s say you are working on improving your self-esteem. That can seem like a HUGE issue to work on, right? If you kept looking at it like this, you would probably find yourself thinking these things. How can you get yourself out of thinking about the entire problem all at one time? …
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That’s right, break it down into chunks!
Break it down into smaller chunks that make it feel more manageable. In this example, this could be as small of a thing as showering each day. By taking a shower each day, you may find that you are telling yourself,” I AM worth it.” That small thing is still working on that bigger goal, right?
You Are Minimizing Your Ability To Change
Sometimes a problem can feel so big that it is insurmountable. You may find yourself saying, “Why bother?”. I have noticed people tend to fall back on saying, “It is easier said than done” when they think the problem is too big or a lost cause.
If you find yourself falling into this trap, you are minimizing your ability to initiate and accomplish change.
It may not feel like it, but there is always something you can do to better your situation. Sometimes these may feel small and inconsequential like showering. But a lot of times in therapy, it is the consistency of these smaller things that bring about real, meaningful change.
Whether you were sent this article by a friend or searched it yourself, you are taking action to better your situation. If you are reading these words, you are taking one of those small actions to lead to broader change. By being here and reading these words, you are fighting back against that tendency to minimize your own ability to change.
A lot of times, it can feel like nothing you could do would matter. I hear you. But remember that it does not matter how small the action is. By just making that little effort, you are pushing back against that tendency to minimize your own ability to change. When something feels insurmountable, challenge that thought by thinking of small actions you can take during your day to invite change into your life. By doing this, you are taking an active role in your own recovery.
You Are Giving Yourself a Built-In Excuse To Not Change
As humans, we are all guilty of making excuses for ourselves. For a lot of people, this is a way to cope with the mistakes they have made. That, or it is a way to make themselves feel better for CHOOSING to not be active participants in their own growth/change. Sometimes being an active participant can be challenging. We can be faced with some uncomfortable stuff.
The number one reason I push back against this phrase is that all it is doing is making an excuse for not changing. This saying can leave us blaming the situation itself instead of acknowledging the significant role we play in change. Recovery is hard to find without accountability. It gives us the excuse to not play an active role in recovery.
But why is blaming the situation a big deal? While each situation is different, we often can’t control the situation itself, right? So that blame can be almost a waste of energy. We can only control what we say, do, and how we react.
So using the EXCUSE of the problem being too big to overcome so why bother doesn’t hold up. Again, each situation is different. From my experience, just about every situation can be improved with active participation in change.
Final Thoughts
I hope by now, you are starting to see a pattern. In life, there will be problems that will feel big, scary, and impossible. This is when we tend to say something like, “That is easier said than done” when confronted with the challenge of trying to get better.
There are all kinds of reasons why we end up saying it. We could feel the problem is too big, or that nothing we do will matter, or even that we can’t change. Whatever the reason, this stuff can keep us from taking an active role in our recovery.
Without taking an active role in our recovery, change is hard to come by. By being here you have started to think of ways of being an active participant in your recovery. That is a huge step! Maybe you’ve even started to think of things you are doing that are getting in the way of your healing.
Until next time,
