Sometimes it can be helpful to have an example list of values to help jog our memory of the values we hold. Especially since there are two types of core values: helpful and unhelpful ones. Remember, though, that there are no right and wrong values! Only helpful and unhelpful.
In our practice, we often refer to examples of helpful core values to help us help us better understand and guide our clients. Identifying the examples of core values such as Family, Love, Compassion, Perseverance, Resiliency, and Flexibility can significantly impact mental well-being. These values support personal growth and emotional resilience, guiding us through challenges with strength and adaptability.
Conversely, it’s equally important to be aware of unhelpful core values like Stoicism, Control, Neutrality, Laid Back attitude, and Hyper-focus. While they might have their place, these values can sometimes hinder progress and emotional health if not balanced properly. Acknowledging both helpful and unhelpful core values allows us to align our actions and thoughts with what truly benefits us, fostering a healthier mindset and emotional balance.
Personal Core Values Are Not Always Positive
As humans, our brains like to put things into categories. With core values, we tend to say they are either good (helpful) or bad (unhelpful). But it is not exactly that simple. Remember, when considering mental health, black and white thinking almost always means we are missing something.
Let’s look at control, for example. In this article, I will put it on the unhelpful list, but having control over our actions is important! However, if a person focuses too much on control, that can be difficult. We have all been in that place where we try to control something that is not possible to control. Sometimes things are just out of our control.
To practice identifying values, take a look at the values of the people around you. Which ones are attractive to you? Which are annoying? Which seems to serve that person well? Sometimes it is easiest to understand how samples of core values can impact the behaviors of others before we reflect on ourselves.
So, what are some of the examples of main values that are usually seen as most helpful?
Core Values and Beliefs Examples That Are Helpful
If our personal values influence our behavior, it can be a good idea to identify and magnify the ones we see as helpful. That way, we can lean on those values when we need them the most. While some values can become detrimental if they are too prevalent, there are some that can always be helpful to us.
Examples of some helpful core values are:
- Family
- Love
- Compassion
- Perseverance
- Resiliency
- Flexibility
What do you notice about this list? Really look. They all have the potential to be at the core of us. They all can be leaned on when in a pinch. They all help with perseverance and grit.
Examples of Core Values and Beliefs That Are Unhelpful
While there are not many values that are ALWAYS unhelpful, there are some that come up pretty frequently that, if too intense, can absolutely get in the way of the life you may ultimately want.
Here is one thing I want to be very clear on though: cut yourself some slack if these are present for you. Do not judge yourself. As I describe in the core and intermediate article I wrote, these can be shifted with intention, consistency, and therapy. Through the 100s of times I have done the core values activity with clients, these are examples of core values that are often viewed as “negative” or “unhelpful”:
- Stoicism
- Control
- Neutrality
- Layed Back
- Hyper-focus
Just like substance use. These can work, and we can rely on them to help us feel better, until we can’t.
How Do Core Values Affect Life?
You may be thinking, ‘Okay, so this guy is saying there are helpful and unhelpful personal values. So what? How does that affect me?’ If that’s your question, then it’s a good one!
As I have discussed briefly, values are at the center of everything we do. Every decision we make, every conversation we have, and even the thoughts we have are impacted by the values we hold. When we consider standards of core values, we start to see how they manifest in our daily lives and influence our actions and choices.
The whole point of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is to change thoughts and behaviors. By putting more focus on the helpful examples of core values we have and limiting the use of unhelpful ones, we can make substantial progress in our ability to be authentic and to live the life we want. This approach shows us the practical importance of understanding and aligning with our core values.
Final Thoughts
If you are aiming to live more authentically and as healthily as possible, it’s important to lean on your helpful values and work on mitigating some of the unhelpful values you possess. Reflecting on core values can be a powerful tool in this process.
Hopefully, these lists of both types of values—the helpful and the unhelpful—will assist you in better understanding what drives your actions and decisions. Identifying which the core values resonate with you can be an enlightening experience, offering clarity on what truly matters in your life.
If you are looking for a comprehensive activity where you are guided, step by step, through the process of narrowing down your main values from an extensive list of examples, I recommend checking out this article. It’s designed to help you identify and embrace the examples of core values that resonate most with you, thereby facilitating a more authentic and healthy way of living.
Until next time,
