One of the hardest parts of mental health is putting it into words. Often, our families and friends want to know how we are doing, but it can be hard to describe how we are actually doing and what we are going through. Even if we can describe it, it may feel like they still aren’t getting it. In this article, I will outline how I describe trauma to people so they understand.
The best way I have found to describe trauma works is the attic metaphor. We all have that room in our house (brains) where we shove the things we don’t want to or can’t deal with. Trauma result is making the brave decision to actually go in that attic, see what is in there, figure out what needs to be moved or reorganized, and then pick that stuff up and put it back in its place. If avoided or left unchecked, that “stuff” we shove into the attic will slowly start to affect other rooms, and we may not even know it.
After having the opportunity to work with all kinds of different people, I have found that metaphors help us better understand mental health. It seems like metaphors help us make something that is usually abstract into a more concrete idea.
Trauma “Attic” Metaphor
All kinds of metaphors can be used to talk about trauma. During my time as a therapist, I have found that the best one is the attic metaphor.
I like to think of our brains as a house. In that house, there are all kinds of rooms. There are common rooms that we go into a lot and show visitors, like the living room, kitchen, and study. But there are also rooms that guests don’t see very often, like the attic, basement, or area under the stairs.
For the rooms that people see a lot, we are usually pretty good at keeping them organized, clean, and presentable. That is a little bit of a different story for those attics, basements, and… whatever that area under the stairs is actually called. I tend to throw all my stuff into the attic, so that is what I will use from now on.
These rooms tend to be the areas we just throw things that we don’t want to deal with. That is also where we store the things we don’t NEED to access often.
Depending on how much someone has gone through, that Attic is going to have more stuff. Some attics will be nice, clean, and tidy. But for others that may be rushed to shove everything into the Attic, that room is going to be dark, musty, and cluttered.
The beautiful thing about throwing all of our “stuff” into the Attic is that we kind of forget it is there. We can go about our lives without being bothered by that “stuff” that has been shoved into the Attic.
How Does The Attic Affect Us?
As you can imagine, since this is a metaphor for trauma, that Attic is going to affect us. We all have that Attic with stuff in it. For people who have organized and cleaned it, it takes a lot for that stuff to affect the rest of our house. But for those of us whose attic is dark, musty and cluttered, it doesn’t take much for things to spill out into other rooms.
IF you are one of those people with a super-cluttered attic, you might notice little twinges during your day of things coming up in your mind that you thought you stored away a long time ago.
Especially when we are talking about trauma, this can be really distressing. When you notice things resurfacing that you thought you had dealt with, unexplained spikes in anxiety, or even unexplained irritability, it may be a sign it’s time to start paying more attention to the clutter in your attic.
How To Describe Trauma Work With This Metaphor
So if you are still with me, I have talked about why trauma affects us and how it seemingly can happen out of nowhere. I have also talked about the clues we get that tell us it is time to do some trauma work. But once we decide it is time to do trauma work, how can we use the same metaphor to describe that?
Well, the current metaphor actually works really well for this! This is the part I think you will want to use to describe to family and friends what you are going to therapy for trauma. During trauma work, you will be starting to go into that Attic. For the first few sessions, you may just be looking at the door. Then maybe you just put your hand on the doorknob.
Eventually, you will build up to actually opening that attic door and assessing what is in there. Is your Attic as dirty and unorganized as you remember? If it is, you will start that process of picking that stuff up, addressing it, and putting it back where you want it.
It sounds simple, but this can take a long time. There will probably be a lot of emotions that pop up as you begin to do some of that work. Like anything in life, sometimes it can be helpful to do this work with somebody else. This is where other therapists and I come in.
What Is The Role Of A Therapist While Working With Trauma?
Unlike getting help in the real world cleaning out your house, we therapists can’t directly help you organize that mess in your Attic. There is no way we could know where you want your stuff or what you need it to look like.
Instead, our job is to support you during your work. Our job is to help make sure you can open that attic door and then get out while securely closing the door behind you.
You must seek out a therapist once you decide it is time to start doing some of this work. Depending on the extent of your trauma, there can be a lot of emotions that bubble up. We are here to help make sure these emotions don’t overwhelm you. We are here to support you.
Back into the metaphor: we are here to make sure those hard emotions don’t trap you in that Attic for longer than you are ready for and that the attic door is closed and latched behind you after you exit.
Final Thoughts
Trauma work can and will bring up a lot of hard emotions. This is doubly hard when friends and family are asking what you are doing for trauma work. You want to tell them, but you don’t want to say to them too much of what you are doing.
When I am describing trauma work to clients, I talk about how they can think of it as cleaning or reorganizing their attic/that room that you just stuff everything into.
My hope is that this article has given you the words you need to express what you are doing to those you care about. If you are thinking about doing trauma work, I hope this article helped you learn a little more about what you can expect.
Until next time,
