Have you ever had thoughts like, “I’ll never get better,” or “This is all my fault”? If you have, you’re not alone. As a licensed therapist, I’ve worked with many people who’ve experienced trauma or struggle with anxiety, and I see how these thoughts can take over and feel like the truth. But the good news is, they don’t have to.
In this article, I’ll walk you through 10 common cognitive distortions I often see in trauma and anxiety. These unhelpful thinking patterns can make you feel stuck, scared, or ashamed. Examples include black-and-white thinking, jumping to conclusions, or believing your feelings are facts. Once you know what they are, you can start noticing them and changing how you talk to yourself.
You don’t have to fight your thoughts alone. With care and practice, you can learn to think in a way that feels calmer and more balanced. Let’s go through these 10 patterns together and talk about how to spot them and gently shift them when they show up in your mind.
What Are Common Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are unhelpful, automatic thoughts that twist the truth and feed negative thinking. They often show up when you’re stressed, anxious, or dealing with trauma. These thoughts can make you feel like you’re failing, unsafe, or unworthy, even when that’s not the full story. Each type of cognitive distortion can affect how you see yourself, your relationships, and your future.
When you’re living with anxiety or healing from trauma, your brain is often on high alert. It may try to protect you by generating irrational thoughts, expecting the worst, blaming yourself, or ignoring positive events. These patterns may seem convincing, but they don’t always match reality. They’re just distorted thoughts and feelings, and you’re not stuck with them forever.
The good news is that you can begin to identify cognitive distortions and shift how you respond to them. Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teach you how to notice, pause, and replace these thoughts with more balanced ones. It’s not about ignoring your pain; it’s about becoming aware and responding to it with clarity and compassion.
10 Common Cognitive Distortions
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (Polarized Thinking)
This polarized thinking shows up when you see things as all good or all bad, with no middle ground. For example, “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.” Trauma and anxiety can make it hard to notice the gray areas because your brain wants to protect you from getting hurt again.
But life isn’t just black or white; it’s full of in-between moments. You can mess up and still be worthy of love and respect. This way of thinking can shift when you start reminding yourself that things don’t have to be perfect to be good.
2. Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing is when your mind jumps to the worst possible outcome. You may think, “If I mess this up, everything will fall apart.” Trauma can train your brain to scan for danger, even when you’re safe.
This type of rumination keeps you stuck in fear. A helpful, effective way to challenge this is by asking, “What’s another possibility?” or “Would I say this to a friend? ”
3. Mental Filtering
Mental filtering means focusing only on the bad and ignoring the good. For instance, someone might give you a compliment and a small suggestion, but you only hear the critique. That’s the filter at work.
This distortion can minimize your strengths and keep you stuck in low self-esteem. Try asking, “Am I noticing everything, or just one part? ”Letting in even a little good helps you see the fuller picture.
4. Overgeneralization
Overgeneralization happens when one bad moment feels like a permanent pattern. You might think, “I always mess up,” or “People always leave.” This often comes from trying to protect yourself after hurt or abandonment.
But one negative event doesn’t mean everything will go wrong. Ask yourself, “Has this really happened every time? ” Finding even one exception can help you stay grounded.
5. Personalization
Personalization means blaming yourself for things that aren’t fully your fault. You may feel responsible for how others act or feel, especially if you’ve lived through trauma and internalized guilt.
But you don’t have to carry it all. Remind yourself, “I can care without carrying the blame.” You deserve grace and compassion, especially from yourself.
6. Labeling
Labeling is when you put a harsh name on yourself, like “I’m a failure,” “I’m broken,” or “I’m weak.” These labels can stick, especially after trauma or years of feeling like you weren’t enough. But they don’t reflect the whole you.
Instead of labeling yourself, try describing what actually happened. Say, “I had a hard day,” instead of “I’m a mess.” You’re not a label—you’re a person who’s been through a lot and is learning to heal.
7. Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning is when you believe something is true just because you feel it. For example, “I feel scared, so I must be in danger,” or “I feel worthless, so I must be.” But feelings, while very real, are not always facts.
It’s okay to feel big emotions, especially if you’ve been through trauma or deal with anxiety. The key is to notice the feeling and gently ask, “Is this what’s actually happening, or just how I feel right now?” That small pause can make a big difference.
8. Should Statements
These are thoughts that sound like, “I should be better,” “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or “I must always be strong.” These “shoulds” can make you feel guilty, ashamed, or like you’re failing at healing. But healing doesn’t follow a strict rulebook.
Try to notice when a “should” shows up in your thinking. Ask yourself, “Whose rule is this?” and “Is it helping me heal?” Replacing “should” with “could” or “I’m doing my best” brings in more kindness and flexibility.
9. Mind Reading
Mind reading is when you assume you know what others are thinking—and that it’s something bad. You might think, “They’re mad at me,” or “They think I’m weak,” even without any real proof. Trauma and anxiety can make your brain fill in the blanks with fear.
When this happens, pause and check the facts. Ask yourself, “Did they really say that?” or “What else might be true?” You don’t need to read minds to protect yourself—you need space to feel safe and seen.
10. Disqualifying the Positive
This happens when you brush off the good things. Someone might say something kind, and you think, “They’re just being nice,” or “It doesn’t count.” This distortion can make healing harder because it blocks out moments of light and hope.
Even if it feels unfamiliar, try to let the good in—just a little. Say “thank you” when someone says something nice, even if it’s hard to believe it. Over time, letting in the positive can help you build a more balanced view of yourself and your life.
How to Challenge and Change These Distortions
Now that you know what these common cognitive distortions look like, the next step is learning how to gently challenge them. You don’t have to fight every thought. The goal isn’t to be perfect—it’s to notice when your thinking might be working against you and shift it with care and honesty. One of the first things I suggest is writing your thoughts down when they feel especially strong. Sometimes, just seeing them on paper can help you catch patterns and take a step back.
When you notice a distortion, pause and ask yourself a few questions: “Is this 100% true?” “What’s the evidence for and against this thought?” and “What would I say to a friend who thought this way?” You can also practice replacing the distorted thought with something more balanced. For example, instead of “I’m a failure,” try “I had a tough moment, but I’m still learning.” These small shifts add up and can help calm your anxiety and create space for healing.
Final Thoughts
If you recognized some of these common cognitive distortions in your own thinking, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. These patterns often show up when we’ve been through trauma or live with anxiety. They’re your brain’s way of trying to make sense of pain or protect you from more of it. But the truth is, they can also keep you stuck in fear, shame, or self-doubt.
The good news is that you can learn to notice and shift these thoughts. It takes time, practice, and compassion—but it is possible. If this feels hard to do on your own, that’s okay. Support from a therapist or trusted person can help you feel more grounded and supported as you work through these patterns. You don’t have to do this alone; healing is possible, and you’re already taking a powerful step by learning more about your thoughts.
Until next time,
